TELL!
"I will tell my mummy"... The molester looked at me in shock as I looked into his face and sternly made that statement. That statement saved me from what would have been a recurrent episode of child sexual abuse about 17/18 years ago. That statement was so shocking to him that he hurriedly let me go and never came close to me again.
Sexual abuse is a very common tragedy, many have
either experienced it or come close to experiencing it, yet we treat it as
something that is very far from our society. Some persons do not even want to
talk about it because they consider it to be irrelevant.
However, many people are living with the painful
trauma of sexual abuse with no one to talk to and this is really heartbreaking.
Being abused is one thing, wanting to talk even
after being threatened is another, having nobody to "tell" is a whole
lot also.
Okay, let's do a quick exercise.
Take a deep breath. Take another one. Take another.
Sorry, Take yet another.
Okay, think about that one thing you could not tell
your parents. What about the one you still hold on to, you cannot Share with
your friends, yet it makes you stay up at night to cry? What about that one
that you just want to let out?
Now, why are you still holding it back?, Why can't
you share it?
If I should take an analysis of our answers, I am
sure there will be a common term.. "trust".
Children need to know that they can trust you enough
(as a parent/Uncle/aunt/sister/brother/teacher or whoever) to be able to open
up to you.
African elders have always evaded talking about sex
or boy/girl relationships as a whole because it is considered inappropriate,
yet the rate of abuse is rising.
Sexual abuse, amongst many other traumatic effects,
makes a child have low self esteem, the child may feel left out among his/her
mates, even as they grow, they will find it difficult to socialize.
The only way abusers thrive is by telling the
children not to "tell".
If that child can trust you to speak up to you as an
adult, you will save that child and a host of others from falling prey.
Parents, can your child "tell" you?
Why don't you be a shoulder for that person
struggling with secrets from the past to comfortably lean on in trust that
won't be broken?
Be the change the world wants to see and let that
little one be able to tell you without being taken advantage of.
It takes courage for somebody to open up to you.
Think about this the next time you are tempted to shut that child up
Remember, “I will tell my mummy" saved me. Let that child be able to "tell" you too.
I love this. I believe we should not shut children up. Let them say all the rubbish they want to say in order to build their confidence to tell you even the serious things. God will help parents because it is very tasking.
ReplyDeleteYou're right dear. Amen😍
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