Standards, Boundaries and Becoming

There are things I no longer apologize for, not out of pride, but because I am growing. You may wonder, what are these things? I’ll spare you the guesswork: they are standards and boundaries.

I remember a morning during my SIWES training. It was just another routine class until a side conversation took center stage. Someone had mentioned that it was okay to have “friends with benefits”, and suddenly the room was alive with opinions. Some called it harmless. One person said it was against the standards of morality. Then a lady responded sharply, “Who set the standards?”

That question silenced the room, but it revealed something much deeper to me: how blurred our moral lines have become, how we have slowly drifted into a world where feelings dictate truth, and convenience overrides conviction. That moment was one of my earliest realizations of how far we’ve slipped, not just in behavior, but in mindset. The real danger isn’t always rebellion. Sometimes, it’s REDEFINITION.

Over time, I have come to understand that standards and boundaries are intertwined. While standards define what you believe, boundaries protect what you believe. Without both, you lose direction, and eventually, you lose yourself.

In a world that constantly asks us to bend, to dilute, to “just go with it,” boundaries say: Not here! Not like this! Not at the expense of my values!

In Public Health, I have seen what happens when we lower standards or remove boundaries. Systems fail, Ethics blur, care becomes guesswork, and people suffer. This is the same in life, when we don’t set standards, we become susceptible to anything that sounds good, even if it isn’t right.

But let me be clear, standards are not about pride or perfection. They are about alignment.

I have chosen to let God set mine, because when He does, my life is anchored, not tossed by trends or pressured by the need to fit in. Saying no is no longer a struggle, because I understand what I’m saying yes to: excellence, integrity, peace and purpose.

So, NO, I won’t apologize for expecting clarity in relationships, accountability in work, or values in leadership. I won’t shrink myself to be more acceptable.

I’ve seen too much, heard too much, lived through too much, to settle for less than what God has called me to.

Can you recognize my “heart-writing”?, Is it legible enough? Well then... it’s safe to say welcome back!

#HeartScribbles